pagdaan

i’m far where my feet no longer feel sand 

the call of a lifeguard lost in the wind

in cold water, i swear im still warm

disregarding the noise with youthful ignorance 

i’ve been anchored here for years

tethered deeply throughout seiches and surges 

protected, secured, safe

but how can a journey begin with a docked ship? 

sunsets dancing on the horizon are beautiful 

for those able to chase them 

for the rest of us, they’re painfully bright

looking out at them through squinted eyes 

only serves as a painful reminder:

a beauty i will never know 

a warmth i may never feel 

safety has made me grateful,

safety has made me resentful. 

why read a book if you know how it ends? 

tides come and go 

washing away impressions from those that were careless,

leaving scattered footprints to lead to nowhere 

perhaps if i plead with the moon 

the tides will pull me gently 

sweeping me away from everything i know too well, carrying me towards an unknown destination 

the familiar sound of waves lapping on the shore,

mimicking unfamiliar sounds of a new page turning.

in order to change you have to move.

i wish you wind in your sails and steady currents.

the tide may wash your imprint away

but the earth will infinitely hold your memory, molded by the caress of the water 

from the waves that you have forever created

-;